


It’s Worth It, It’s Divine, I Have This Some of The Time

by Sxymami0909



Series: Ghosts: The Lost Year [6]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Derek Hale is Bad at Feelings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gen, Minor Character Death, Pre- Series Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-31 00:13:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6447700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sxymami0909/pseuds/Sxymami0909
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She woke up alone in his bed, confused, but not all too worried. But as the day went on she felt his absence. It was the first time she truly realized how close they’d become without meaning to and when the day was nearing end and he still hadn’t made an appearance even for the pack meeting it was time for Lydia to admit that she was worried about Derek Hale. (Title taken from ‘Cherry Wine’ by Hozier)</p>
            </blockquote>





	It’s Worth It, It’s Divine, I Have This Some of The Time

**Author's Note:**

> **Request:** Adult Lydia learn by Scott that Derek is not at a pack meeting because it's Laura's death anniversary and she go to where she was buried offering him to talk and she told him it's Wash talking to a relative stranger and then they share a moment?  
>  **Note:** Sooo I know this isn't exactly what you asked for. I'm sorry. But it happened and I can't take it back. :O  
>  **Universe:** Drove Through Ghosts – Middle of May.

Heat beat down on her bare arms as she made her way deeper into the preserve and despite the warmth of the early evening sun a shiver ran down her spine. Lydia swallowed heavily doing her best not to think about all the memories that came with trekking through the woods and all the secrets that were hidden in the mass of trees.

Lydia was there for one reason and one reason only. Derek.

She’d woken up alone in his bed earlier that afternoon, confused, but not all too worried. It wasn’t like they were in a relationship. She didn’t give him a run-down of what she did every day and he didn’t give her one either. It worked best that way. No attachments. Lydia came to him when she needed to feel something other than the crushing pain that filled most of her waking hours and he came to her when he needed the same.

But as the day went on Lydia had felt his absence. It was the first time she truly realized how close they’d become in the last four months without even meaning to. So, when the day was nearing its end and he still hadn’t made an appearance even for the pack meeting it had been time for Lydia to admit that she was worried about him.

When she approached Scott about it, she’d attempted to seem casual, calm, like the answer didn’t matter one way or another, but Lydia was pretty sure the alpha had seen right through her. The sound of a branch snapping beneath her heel tugged her abruptly from her thoughts making her jump slightly at the sharp noise that echoed around the silent woods.

Lydia shook her head at how easily she spooked and kept moving forward. She glanced around pausing momentarily when she spotted the remnants of the old Hale house up ahead in the distance. She pursed her lips, blew out a short breath and powered forward. It didn’t matter that the house gave her the creeps or that it brought back images of Peter Hale, ones that made her skin crawl more than she wanted to admit. All that mattered was that she knew if she kept moving forward and towards the side of the wreckage she’d find Derek.

Her footsteps were quiet, light even, but Derek heard her log before he caught sight of a flicker of red hair from the corner of his eye. He kept his gaze on the small grave marker in front of him, not bothering to turn in her direction, though he had to admit he was mildly curious as to why she was there.

He stood, arms crossed over his chest, body tense and Lydia couldn’t help the way her chest tightened as his eyes stayed steady on the makeshift grave. She walked over to him until she was standing beside him, facing in the same direction he was, her gaze falling on the marker as well.

Derek stayed silent, but he chanced a glance at Lydia noting how she wasn’t looking at him. He could smell the conflicting emotions on her and a part of him wanted to ask her what was wrong. But at the same time he just didn’t have it in him at the moment. The feather light touch against his arm startled him making him blink.

He turned his head, eyes watching as Lydia’s fingers trailed down his arm, the soft caress easing the tension in his muscles and making him slowly drop his arm down so he was no longer crossing them over his chest. And less than a second later Lydia’s small palm was sliding into his. Derek’s chest constricted, not sure how such a simple action could bring forth so much emotion inside of him.

Lydia met Derek’s gaze and before either of them could say anything a wave of emotion enveloped her, an overwhelming sense of gratitude which made confusion flicker in her eyes briefly until she realized she must have been sensing the emotion from Derek. It faded almost immediately, almost as if it had never been there at all, but she knew it had by the look in his eyes. She squeezed his hand gently sent him a hesitant half-smile.

Derek studied her for a minute before breaking the silence surrounding them. “How’d you know I was here?” He questioned even though he was pretty sure he knew the answer.

“Scott.” She replied quietly as her thumb brushed gently over his hand, her grip tightening just the slightest bit.

Derek nodded, pressing his lips together for a moment not pulling his hand away. “Why are you here?” He asked.

Lydia finally broke eye contact with him and shrugged as she glanced back at the grave. “You shouldn’t have to be alone.” She hesitated, “Why didn’t you tell me?” She inquired quietly. The fact that he hadn’t probably shouldn’t bother her as much as it did, but she couldn’t help it. For the last four months Lydia had been slowly opening up to Derek, not just about how she was dealing with Allison’s death, but about other things as well; and thinking that he didn’t trust her…well it _hurt_.

Derek could smell the hurt on her and it tasted bitter in his mouth. Lydia was the last person he wanted to hurt. He was silent, taking a minute to get his words together before answering her question. “I didn’t tell anyone,” he admitted honestly. “Scott was around when it happened he probably put two and two together, plus I’m sure he could sense the grief.” He explained, voice rough.

Lydia stayed quiet, it was almost as if she knew he wasn’t done yet and so she waited patiently for him to finish. Derek lifted his other hand and rubbed the back of his neck. “I didn’t want to burden you with my guilt. I know how you feel about being out here…the memories it brings up. I didn’t want to put you through that.” He told her honestly.

Lydia’s heart warmed at his words. She shifted closer to him, leaning into his body. “You’re not a burden, ever.” She stated strongly. Her brows drew together as she attempted to find the right words to convey what he meant to her. It was difficult though when she didn’t really know herself. “You’re always here for me,” she told him, “And if you let me, I’ll be here for you. Allison wasn’t my sister…not really anyway,” she paused, “But losing her…it’s been one of the hardest things I’ve gone through.” She admitted softly. “I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you with Laura.”

Derek’s heart clenched, his body tensing at the mention of his sisters name. “It’s hard,” he admitted, “Even after all this time. I know she wouldn’t want me to dwell on what happened and so most days I don’t. I can compartmentalize, push everything aside and move forward. But every year I allow myself this day to grieve. To feel the pain, the guilt.” His voice cut off and he glanced down.

Lydia swallowed heavily pain filling her chest at his struggle. She didn’t like seeing Derek upset. Come to think of it she didn’t like seeing him hurt or in pain either whether it be physical or emotional. The strawberry blonde wasn’t sure when her mood became linked to the wolf beside her, but she found it very much was and that scared her. “You deserve that,” she offered as she brushed her nose lightly against his shoulder.

Derek’s sent her a sideways glance the action softening the expression on his face as he watched her. “You don’t have to stay. I didn’t mean to disappear. I’ll be back at my apartment after sunset if you want to wait there or just head home.” He didn’t want her to think she had to stay with him. He was perfectly fine on his own.

Lydia leaned her head against his shoulder and sighed softly. “I want to stay…if that’s okay.” She said quietly still not really sure of herself with Derek just yet. They were friends and sometimes they were more. It was new and at times confusing, but she needed Derek and she was willing to admit that…to herself anyway. When he let out a slight grunt she took that as confirmation that she could stay and stood with him quietly for another few minutes before once again breaking the silence. “Will you tell me about her?” She asked her voice barely a whisper.

Derek inhaled deeply at the request, taking a minute to think about Laura. The briefest of smiles tugged at his lips as he stared at something in the distance. “She was smart,” he offered, “and fearless.” He explained fondly. “But she was also the only one of us who listened to my mother no questions asked.” He told her.

Lydia listened to him talk all the while her thumb rubbing calming circles over his hand. “She sounds like my kind of girl.” She said with half a smile.

Derek met her gaze and returned the smile. “She would have said you’re too good for me.” He offered with a gruff chuckle. “But I definitely think the two of you would have gotten along better than you did with Cora.”

Lydia snorted. “I’m sure.” She shifted slightly on her feet and glanced back at the grave. “Thanks for letting me stay.”

Derek squeezed her hand gently. “Thanks for wanting to.” He replied simply. He wasn’t used to having people want to be there for him. It was…different, but not at all unpleasant. He knew Lydia wasn’t his, not really. Her heart belonged to someone else and that was okay. For now he had her and that was enough. Being a part of Scott’s pack, letting people in, that was all Lydia, she brought him into the light, something Derek hadn’t been able to do on his own all these years. Sure, being a part of her life was complicated and messy, but it was also one hundred percent worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm taking requests on **[Tumblr](http://reportergirl13.tumblr.com/ask)** feel free to pop on over.


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